In my previous post, the science and secret of becoming wealthy, I had mentioned that the first and foremost determinant was knowing one’s true passion. Since then I had felt that it needed much more to be said. Further I received quite a number of emails asking me how we can find out our true passion. This is how we can:
Why we do not fulfill promises that we keep to ourselves? This seemingly simple question has very deep link with our psyche.
Fulfilling promises is a matter of integrity. Integrity is doing things as we had said.
When we say some thing, how much we shall do it completely or a part of it or extent of that what we said is a function of how much we value our words.
How much we value our words is a function of how much we value our own selves.
How much we value our own selves is a function of how much we love ourselves.
Take action. Start with some thing very very small and manageable. Do not try to find an escape route. Do not try to waste your time looking for some thing easy. Start an action that proves that you are valuable. That tells you that your body, your time, your health, your relationships , your emotions, your self , your hygiene, your every thing is valuable.
Start with exercise to prove your body and health is valuable.
Start to talk with your siblings and parents to tell that they are valuable.
Reduce TV watching hours to tell yourself that your time is valuable.
Start eating healthy and refuse junk food to prove yourself that you value your health.
Start praying or whatever ritual you do to tell you value your beliefs.
Start reading , even if its a page a day to tell yourself that you value mental growth.
Start… please start. Take action. You are too valuable to let yourself fall victim for inaction or laziness.
I had been looking for some short phrases and sentences that can and actually do mean a lot. Such words that we have ignored or which are simple, yet have a profound impact, if we really choose to follow. Here are a few :
- Choose happiness
- Listen to your heart
- Answer your calling
- Laugh often
- Dare to change
- Live, love, laugh
- Follow your dream
- Live passionately
- Say thank you
- Be genuinely grateful
- When forgive, forget also and finally
- Today Matters
How often have we heard this sentence upon some one’s extra ordinary performance or achievement. A guy or a cynical women would just utter: it wasn’t that hard.
Why we do not acknowledge that it was really tough work and this man really did a great job accomplishing it?
Here is the mental mechanics behind the behaviour:
a. By accepting that it was tough, we would have to appreciate him / her. Appreciation requires total absence of personal insecurity. And most of us lack that personal security.
b. If we accept that the task was tough, we would have to acknowledge that he / she could do it and we could not. ( Isn’t it a too square a fact to face. ) And this means, we lacked the courage and the competence, which we do not want to accept.
So we label that was so easy, but we were not bothered to do it.
The fact however is: if that were real easy, we would have never left it undone !
There are many opinions as to who created this universe and us, but there are no two opinions that it is the same hand that carved us and its the very hand that made the universe.
Logically, theoretically and intelligence-wise the rules which define gravity, magentism, electro-magnetism, the law of heat, inertia, momentum, the law of pressures etc also define us in our spirituality and day to day life as well.
Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life. Thich Nhat Hanh
Some years back, I completely lost some thing that greatly helped me transform into some one, which later inspired me to start another blog: happiest man on earth.
I lost my will to convince others of my opinion. I stopped going into discussions. I stopped asking questions that were intended to bring the other person to my desired conclusion. I stopped engaging into meaning less talks on politics, sports and movies. I would only want to hear what the other person had to say about a particular event, cause, niche or a social issue.
When I stopped all that mental hassle, I began to see people as they were. Not what I would have tagged them with before my internal transformation, nor what they appeared to be. I began to see people as some thing they could have become.
It wasn’t that I had nothing to say. In fact, with this stopping myself of convincing others, what I had to say grew manifold inside of me. Things began to form links. Events became meaningful. Every new day a certain understanding began to grow.
It was truly hard in the beginning. We are not used to this. We are used to certain neurological responses and behaviors.
We have been raised that way. One such response is immediate comparison and judgment. Our mind takes the following steps, perhaps in a friction of a second.
1. Whenever we hear an opinion about an issue, our mind begins to search whether we have some thing to say about it or not. If its a yes, then second step begins.
2. The next step our mind takes is to compare our existing opinion with what we hear.
3. The next step is to decide whether the “new” opinion goes with our existing one or it goes against it.
4. Since our brain virtually hates creating new neural path ways, it chooses the comfort zone, here in this case: sticking to an existing opinion.
5. Doing the contrary involves very hard and difficult steps. What if the other person is right? Then we would have to mold or reform or re-design our opinion ( all mental hard work for brain circuitry cells again). What if accepting that the other person is right leads us to face another situation, which is more grave for us? Most of people simply do not discuss religion because of this fear that they might be proven wrong and then they would have to accept the truth.
Keeping in mind the hard work in step 5, our brain chooses to stick to existing neural path way associated to already established thought patterns.
The next behaviour is to tell two people that we are right. The first one: our own self. The second person is the one whom we are speaking to.
We want to tell others we are right because our ego has linked being right with a sudden greatness. We think because of our belief systems that to be great, some one has to be always right.
We want to tell ourselves that we are right because then we won’t have to do hard work or re-designing mental patterns and thoughts.
We begin to defend or convince our opinions.
I lost it all. I disallowed my ego of the luxury of wanting to be always right to apparently look great. It involved a lot of mental hard work. Hours of thinking. Tens of hours of mind game practices, but it all was worth it.
Today I have lost it all. I do not want any one to get convinced of my view. I do not even want some one to follow the path I am on. I have now understood that every one is not meant for the difficult walks.
With that losing of will to convince others, I became free. I got rid of comparing myself with others. I did not compare my ideas with others. I read and read and tried to learn, but it was not because of wanting myself to compare, but it was because of pure curiosity.
I lost all unwanted stress. I began appreciating people truly and from my heart. I became highly comfortable with my own self.
I began to breathe !
In our lives, the frequent problem isn’t not loving. It is loving not enough!
We love ourselves enough to appear in a party well dressed and perfumed, yet we do not love ourselves enough to work out.
We love ourselves enough to see and find out if some one loves us, we do not love ourselves enough to reach out to some one who is waiting for love.
We love ourselves enough to perhaps spend a few last days before exams to avoid pain of embarrassment among our peers and class mates. We love ourselves enough to get a degree and do things that some how get us a pass. We do not love ourselves enough to become truly knowledgeable.
We love our kids enough to see if they do get everything they wish for. We do not love them enough to stop them from having something which is harmful for their spirit and soul.
We love our spouses enough to enjoy a movie or a dinner. We do not love them enough to deeply listen to them.
We love our selves to watch out that the document we are sending out is really impressive. We do not love our selves enough to be thorough.
We love some one to wait for him, but we do not love him enough to wait till he is back.
We love ourselves enough to forgive people who have done wrong to us. We do not love ourselves enough to forget them.
The difference is not much. The difference between enough and not enough …is not huge. It is a small difference ignored consistently. A thirty minute exercise missed for years. A habit of book reading missed for years. A habit of not being in the present for a life time. A habit of not being mindful when with some one you love.
Love is small acts done consistently to avoid missing the gap. Love is loving enough!
Keep a journal of your success. Build small. Take action. Note it. Take more action. Note it. Get results. Note them. Get no results. Note them. Get better results. Note them. Read. Write. Learn. Do. Start. Remember it takes action. And taking action is always uneasy. It throws us out from our comfort zones. But remind yourself also, who you are?
Do not keep on thinking. Do not leave the place where you are reading those words, without taking an action about what you have decided.